Because
by DinosaurEyes
Summary: Because sometimes, it hurts more to care as Kurenai learns it, Hinata sees it, Shizune says it, Temari smells it, Tenten feels it, Tsunade tastes it, Ino hears it and Sakura knows it. A drabble on the kunoichi of Konoha. mild pairings, slight angst. R & R


Sometimes, it hurts more to care.

Hinata sees that, as she watches her younger sister train. Watches silently as she pushes herself so far, until she can go no further, and it hurts as she watches Hiashi compliment her for she knows that she will never get his respect (_it's not fair why? why? why?)_. She knows it hurts when she sees Naruto, walking around with Sakura, because even though they aren't dating, it still hurts to care so much, and have none in return. And she sees that, and pulls away.

Kurenai learns that, when they bring back Asuma's dead (_so dead how could this happen?) _body. When she feels the baby kicking, the one who will never get to see his father. She knows it hurts when she watches Shikamaru teach her child how to play shouji, to try and pass on some of the love he felt for someone who's dead. And she feels that, and pulls away

Tenten feels that, when she breaks her rib bones to stop an attack on her teammate (_ow ow ow is he ok_?), and the only words of thanks she gets is 'I could have taken that'. She feels that, when she lies on the hospital bed, battered into oblivion, watching the back of said teammate walk away through the door. And she feels that. And pulls away

Ino hears that, when the words of her flightiness and arrogance reach her ears from the mouths of people she loves (_I saved your life doesn't that mean anything?)_. She cries a little, because they can't see that it's all an act. She hears that, when her father asks her teacher what he thinks, and the only answer is, 'was she meant to be a Kunoichi?' And she hears that, and pulls away.

Shizune says that, as she watches the body of someone she wasn't able to save roll away (_I tried so hard, was I not strong enough?)_. She says that, as she watches her surrogate niece and mentor train, and cry, because they too, couldn't do anything. She says that because it is the logical thing to say, and her heavy heart knows its truth. She says that, and pulls away.

Temari smells that, as her brother's latest kill's blood pools onto the ground. She smells that, as her brother's impeccable shield is broken and it is his own blood that spills now. (_stop it stop it stop it!)_, and when she comforts, nothing heals. She smells that, and she pulls away.

Sundae tastes that, as she vomits the sake into the toilet for the 12th time, because she can't handle the pain of being responsible for so many lives. She tastes that, as the bitter sake pours down her throat, and as she loses control of her body and thoughts (_its not enough, its never enough, I can still remember them, keep drinking)_ because she can't save everyone, and everyone is her responsibility. She tastes that, and she pulls away.

Sakura knows that, when her teammates leave her, both to gain power, and she is left behind without a thought. She knows that, when she lays in her bed, thinking about old times she should have left behind years ago, about how she was weak and how her teacher never really taught her anything (_was I not good enough for them?)_. She knows that, and she pulls away.

They know this, and the boys can only watch as their Kunoichi pull away, and into their own world, where every day is a struggle (_should I - should I - should I?)_ And when they ask what is wrong, they are met with a blank stare and a fake smile "

But they watch and they feel their friends morph and change. Because although they are Kunoichi, fighting machines, they are human, and humans care, and feel. Because, they cant give up on being human, even though it would be so much easier to just not care.

Temari smells that, as she totters home, blood covering her hands, outfit dirty and ripped and smelling like blood. And she smells her brothers bad cooking and smiles, because she wouldn't have it any other way.

Kurenai learns that when she sees her son has Asuma's eyes (_hey there sweetie, you look like your daddy),_ she smiles because she knows that as soon as he'll get older, he'll find out about his father, who couldn't be there.

Tenten feels that as she finds a salve from her teammates and a note, get well soon, she laughs, because she knows who left it (_he cares he cares he cares)_.

Sakura knows that as she slams her door shut after a long day at the hospital, and finds a ramen package slipped under her door. And she smiles, because it means that Naruto still lives, and so can she. And she knows that, as she gazes at Sasuke unconscious on the ground, and smirks, and clenches her fist in victory (_welcome home Sasuke kun)_

Tsunade tastes that as she once again throws up into the toilet, only its different because a strong hair is holding her hair up, and a voice is whispering soothing words to her, while another hand rubs her back. And she tastes that as his tongue invades her mouth (_it's not the same, This one will stay) _and she kisses back, because she can see their future together, filled with pink and blonde haired apprentices.

Hinata sees that, as her father pats Neji on the head, and she crinkles her eyes, because she knows that he's healing inside, so she can too, and she sees that, as Naruto glances over at her (_Is he looking at me?)_, and he blushes this time, and a glowing Sakura gives her an encouraging nod, standing next to a chagrined Sasuke.

Ino hears that, as Shikamaru tells the enemy about how he has a teammate who could kick all of their asses, from the inside out, and she smiles, because when he gets home, he'll find a clean house, and a sprig of her favorite flowers, and she hears that, when she hears the scream of pain from the opponent (_no one hurts my precious people)_.

Shizune says that, as her teammate helps her off the ground, and he asks her why she saved her life 'didn't she know it was dangerous?' and she smiles, because she knows he cares, about her more than he'll admit.

And they smile together, and thank their loved ones, for helping them care, even when it hurts so bad they think they are going to die. And so, even though it hurts, they care, for they know that not caring, hurts even more.


End file.
